Happy New Year! Readers of this site may have known that I have been unemployed-ish for almost two years. I am happy to say that I landed a job. It has been a difficult trek. I know that I didn’t know what unemployment ever felt like. I never realized what unemployment can do to a person. I write this not to be bigoted, but to be unemployed and to be a man in United States is even more challenging. I come to understand that there is a large segment of men between the ages of 34 – 65 that are unemployed. I believe the figure I read was out of the 100 million men in the workplace in the United States, 25 million men are unemployed. I was naïve. I honestly, thought that when I was laid off that I would easily be able to get a job. I had a MBA, worked in distribution and sales throughout my working career, I just thought I would land another job, however that wasn’t the case.
My job-hunting experience took a brutal toll on me. I sent applied for 100’s of jobs. I only had 8 interviews. I am not a super high self esteem individual, but on each interview, I attended, I thought I did very well, and the interviews went well. Most of these jobs were much lesser paying jobs than I had in the past. To get the rejection letters after each interview took a little piece of my soul each and every time. I read a few books in the process, and I quickly learned that being 54 years old and looking for a job, will be difficult. Apparently, age discrimination is very difficult to prove. Reflecting on the interviews, it is only now that I can recall that the interviewers were using coded terminology such as “This is a high energy position.” At the time I was naïve to understand what that really meant, “You are old.” In one of my books, it stated the idea that “You may have to accept that at your age, you may have to find two part jobs, and if you are going to do that, then find have some fun, and find a part time job that is in a field that really interest you.” A new IKEA is coming to our town, so, I interviewed for a part-job. Over a four-month process, in the end I learned that I did not get the part-time job I interviewed for, but I did get a full-time job that paid less. IKEA benefits are pretty spectacular, and after only working in training for a few weeks, the management and the people I work with are all pretty incredible. In my brief time there, I have met a few men who are my age they have gone through the same experience as I have. All have at least under graduate degrees, and they are supporting families, something I am not. How does all this relate to Out Late and Gay blog? So as conversation goes when meeting, new co-workers, a method of deduction is used when they quiz me on my background. “You are divorced?”, “You have no children?”, “Who are you sharing Christmas with.” “New Years?”, “You live alone?” My only indication of that I have a significant other is that I say, “I have a friend.” That answer pretty much tells them all they needed to know, and it is not as if IKEA workplace would ever be non-inclusive, it is a great company. I am so thankful that I have a job, and especially with IKEA. However, it is a little difficult to hear all my other co-workers talk about their husbands, children, and families, and to realize I don’t and will not have any of that. Yet another aspect of being gay, old, and alone. Dr. Ashden is very much still in my life, and I love him more than ever, but we will not ever live together. It is a sad fact that always reminds me when I now come home from work, and there is no one here at the house waiting for me. Getting a job is a first step. I am happy. I realize now I just have some more steps to work towards to further my happiness. My future looks bright.
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Christian Cantu
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December 2019
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