Ah, these few words will most likely be just a short post. Actually, I read the statistics this site receives and I wonder why, especially since I am not so discipline to write on a consistent basis. If you have read my site, well, you would know that I have been unemployed at 53…with little expectation of getting a job. I applied for a year, and the only job that has come my way was via a friend working at company. So, after a year of being unemployed I now find myself working with 27 year olds. Oh, well. I keep telling myself, “That MBS, I mean MBA, has come in really handy!”.
The funny part about accepting this job is, that they made me start working a week early. Dr. Ashden insisted we travel before I went to work. I was thinking to myself, “Really, why now?” So, on a Wednesday night at a cheap Mexican food restaurant, I got on my phone and made travel arrangements to Santa Fe the next day. Yeah, that’s right the next day, as if I needed to spend more money I didn’t have. We arrived on Santa Fe on a Thursday. Since Dr. Ashden cannot walk too well, I had to find a hotel close to the downtown square. Due to limited time, I did find one, but the price was not too cheap. I have been to Santa Fe once with my ex-wife, and I really didn’t remember it as some where I wanted to go back. The downtown area seems too touristy for me. Case in point, Dr. Ashden wanted to go to the Shed to eat. I went, but I couldn’t help but think this place has seen some better days. The room where we ate smelled of a dirty mop floor. Oh, well, Dr. Ashden loved it. Funny, the weather was spectacular. My Ah-Moment from Santa Fe came when I accidentally missed a turn to the Georgia O’Keefe Museum. We ended up all the way out at the Santa Fe Opera House. This was the place I fell in love with Santa Fe. Away from the touristy downtown, and just viewing the amazing vistas of the Southwest. The views had a mystical quality. Everything downtown seemed, I don’t know, just like shops, busy people trying to be so Santa Fe, and bars full of stench. The landscape away from the town, was, well, breath-taking. This trip went pretty spectacular, well, until the last day. Apparently, I booked the flight for Sunday correctly, unfortunately, it was a Sunday a week later than it should have been. If you are reading this, then you can probably understand why you should never book a trip at a Mexican Restaurant while drinking margaritas. That I was in New Mexico on a Sunday, and needed to be in San Antonio by 8 AM the next day….well, the stress level was a little high. I still don’t want to think about the added cost to fly the two of out of there on the last flight. Yeah, I went to bed at 2 AM that night, only to have to sit for 8 hours in front of my new boss and two work mates in his office. I was so zoned out, I don’t remember one word he said. I went through two weeks of training, and he kept referring to that first day. Well, the beauty is that I am still employed. I don’t know for how long, but they haven’t kicked me out yet. The beauty is, is that my life is settling down. I finding some time to write. As I state in every post, I write this post for the person who is out there, out there and unsure of themselves. Yes, being gay and older, coming into being gay and older, well, as I always tell you quite honestly, it’s difficult. I will probably just end this post with this, I really don’t think about gay or straight any more. Yes, love is strange. If there was a perfect way to make everything happen, well, life would be easy. I think I have lived enough just to know we do the best we can. When I started this blog, I was a totally different person. The change? Well, I am just coming back to being me. I will end this with a quote from an old book I read when I was younger, it probably states my feelings better than I can express at this particular moment. “The desert landscape is always at its best in the half-light of dawn or dusk. The sense of distance lacks: a ridge nearby can be a far-off mountain range, each small detail can take on the importance of a major variant on the countryside's repetitious theme. The coming of day promises a change; it is only when the day had fully arrived that the watcher suspects it is the same day returned once again--the same day he has been living for a long time, over and over, still blindingly bright and untarnished by time.” ― Paul Bowles, The Sheltering Sky
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Christian Cantu
Coming Out Late Archives
December 2019
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