I was sitting at the library, and I was working on writing a Cover Letter for possible employment. I still find myself wondering how the hell I could be unemployed for so long? Sitting at a very long wooden table all alone, and just wondering, and wondering. I looked at the new books on display from across the room, and I read the title of a book, The Gay Preacher’s Wife. I got up from my chair, and I thought, “Man I have to read this book.”
I looked at the back cover and I saw that the woman was African-American. Her name is Lydia Meredith. I went back to the table, and I immediate began to read her fascinating story. Lydia came from a poor Southern family. However, she would go on to have so much success in her life. She graduated Vanderbilt with an Engineering Degree. She worked for large companies in different parts of the country. Her husband was in the ministry, and by all accounts in the book they had a mostly happy marriage for 30 years. One day, Lydia was out in her garage and found some adult films. In her book, she does not specify if the films are homosexual or heterosexual in nature. She confronted her husband, Dennis, about the matter. She explained to him that a preacher should not have such films in his house. These films would only be the beginning of a truth that her husband was deeply concealing. She received a telephone call at work, and it was her husband saying he wanted to speak with her after work. She arrived at the house, and their children were with were being cared for by a neighbor. She had the feeling that her husband had a surprised romantic evening planned for them, what she wasn’t expecting was a confession. Lydia’s husband, Dennis, told her he was bi-sexual. He explained to her the different places where he was encountering men, jack-off parties, theaters, and even on ministry conventions. Lydia was of course devastated and overwhelmed with the husband’s confession. She and her husband sought Christian spiritual cures, as well as, traditional therapy for Dennis’ sexual appetite. Two of the named organizations that she mentioned were Focus of the Family and Exodus International. I know that as of this time, Exodus International has dissolved, and I would refer the reader to the documentary, One Nation Under God, to learn more on this subject. Lydia and Dennis worked through their problems, and would eventually leave California to move to Atlanta, Georgia. Thinking that the move would be a fresh start, Lydia was encouraged that her marriage would ascend from its California nadir. Of course, it wouldn’t be too long before she found out that Dennis had a new lover in the church. The man would be much younger than her husband. In the book, she works through this issue with great integrity towards Dennis. However, she would finally leave Dennis and her marriage. Lydia overcame a tremendous amount of challenges to heal herself. Besides her husband’s sexuality, she dealt with her son’s homosexuality and AIDS diagnoses. She would encounter members in her congregation that spewed hateful messages to her about her husband and son. Lydia was determined not to let these challenges stop her spiritual growth. Lydia saw a need for Christians to change their viewpoints on fundamental Christianity, and seeing this need, she would proceed to become a minister herself. The last part of the book details her challenges with her family, her ex-husband and his lover, and her own inward struggles with holding on to one of the most important values of her life, her family’s cohesiveness. As hard as it may have been, she realized that to keep her family together, she was going to have to accept her husband’s lover to family events, and even more deeply as a member of her new family. Lydia shows amazing strength and courage in her book. Her act of forgiveness is to be commemorated. Lydia had to accept her son’s homosexuality as well as her husband’s homosexuality. She demonstrates her faith was not weakened but strengthen in the process. Her book was a quick read with a powerful message.
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Christian Cantu
Coming Out Late Archives
December 2019
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