Sometimes I wonder? Do I look gay? I know this idea really shouldn’t be something that you ponder about, but there are times it enters your mind. I really never really thought about it until a couple of chance encounters that occurred recently.
One, I recently went to Ft. Worth with my partner, Dr. Ashden. Dr. Ashden had a friend coming into town, as well as, his friend’s brother and partner. We live in San Antonio, and the drive to Ft. Worth is about four hours away. Dr. Ashden is 25 years older than I am. So, he needed help with the drive. So, I took off some time from work and made the journey northward. Now the question “Do I look gay?” was the furthest from my mind. Dr. Ashden’s friend made hotel reservations for us at an upscale Ft. Worth hotel, the Worthington. A nice hotel right in the middle of a beautiful and active downtown. Well, here we go with the question at hand. We arrived at the hotel, and we got to the check-in area. I should probably preface this situation with the idea of how Dr. Ashden and I look. I am six feet tall, broad shoulder, salt and pepper hair, and I prefer to dress in a more “Preppy” style. Dr. Ashden is 6’4” and he dresses in a way he prefers to call “Flamboyant.” I would refer to his style as Southwest artistic, yet he does wear some very expensive Starcke red glasses. At check-in we are greeted by a very young and handsome tall man. I provided my credit card for the services, and then he asked the question, “Do the both of you need a King bed or double beds?” Why I never anticipated the question before hand was beyond me. You see, Dr. Ashden and I live in separate homes. So, the question really amplified the idea “Do I look gay to you?” I felt a little awkward, Dr. Ashden was right at my back, and this nice young man in front me, and a big spot light overhead of me. It felt like everyone in the lobby turned around to look at me. Since the rodeo was in town the whole lobby was filled with country folk. What probably seemed like eternity to me, was really just a few seconds. I answered the young man, “We need a King bed.” Well, there you have it. “Yes, I am gay!” I thought about my answer as the bellman took our bags to the room. I thought about, “I wonder do I look gay?” I mean, I do not care if I do, I just wondered what type of impression I made on people? The other chance encounter occurred last weekend in Houston. Yet again at a hotel, and yet again, I didn’t even think about the idea “Do I look gay.” Dr. Ashden and I went to Houston to see the “Art and Steel” exhibit at the Houston Fine Arts Museum. The exhibit contained beautiful examples of automobiles whose designs were inspired by the Art Deco period. I made arrangements to stay at the Hotel Granduca. Again, I found myself in the same situation at check-in. However, it went a little more differently this time. I went to the check-in area, I handed my credit card to yet a very nice looking tall blonde young man, and I wasn’t even aware of the idea, “Do I look gay?” Dr. Ashden was by my side. I checked in, and the receptionist was kind and jovial. He handed me my key to the room. The bellman took us up to a very nice Junior Suite room (The receptionist had told me, I am upgrading your room for free). We opened the door to the suite. There was a beautiful kitchen and television area decorated in hues of browns and golds. The bellman opened the bedroom door, and there was a gigantic king bed. I thought to myself, “I wonder why the receptionist did not ask Dr. Ashden and I for double beds?” I mean if we were two heterosexual guys, the idea that two heterosexual guys were going to share a king size bed would be an issue. I know my two brothers would never sleep in any size bed in a hotel room with any other their male friends. I mean never! Yet, the receptionist had to make a judgment call when he saw Dr. Ashden and me together. He must have thought, “They are gay!” Why else would he upgrade us to a room with a king size bed? Now, let me end this thought “Do I look gay?” with the statement, I really do not care. I am not going to change the way I dress or look. You have to remember Dr. Ashden and I have over 70 years of heterosexual marriage between us. So, there are some situations that linger within us. When I checked into a hotel with my wife, I never even thought of the idea that the bed would be a king. However, since I am fairly new to gay life, the question comes to my mind a little more often, “Do I look gay?” And, if I do look gay, so be it. It’s an honor to be the person who you are.
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Christian Cantu
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December 2019
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